alivingfamily Ancient Wisdom for Modern Living

World Breastfeeding Week is a great time to read lots of posts with people’s experiences and resources gathered together at places like Natural Parent Network. Seriously, who can read Hybrid Rasta Mama’s “Why Breastfeeding a Toddler is HILARIOUS” without at least a chuckle? I’ve just lazily put all these awesome posts together along with some resources on Extended Breastfeeding, Child-led Weaning, and Baby-led Solids. There is good stuff in there, so enjoy reading!

EXTENDED BREASTFEEDING: Resources

Nursing After the First Year  — Kellymom

Extended Breastfeeding (Beyond One Year) — La Leche League (LLL)

7 Breastfeeding Myths – a number have to do with extended breastfeeding or weaning with links to info

Breastfeeding a Child Who Can Chew Steak

Weaning: How Does It Happen? – Kellymom

Natural Weaning

EXTENDED BREASTFEEDING: Stories and Wisdom

Joys of Breastfeeding Past Infancy — This is a ton of posts series all about extended breastfeeding, including a couple below

Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy: Radio Documentary

(The Actual Radio Documentary @ Knitwise Media)

Breastfeeding in Sickness and in Health, Even Past Infancy – lots more posts to link to

A Good Thing Going

Bumps in the Road (sometimes they come later in the game)

10 Selfish and Shallow Reasons to Breastfeed a Toddler

Breastfeeding Past Infancy and Breastfeeding Past Infancy: Followup

Breastfeeding a 14 Month Old Is….

Why Breastfeeding a Toddler Is Hilarious

Pros and Cons of Breastfeeding a Toddler

Confessions of a Breastfeeding Mom: TTC — links about breastfeeding and fertility

WEANING

The Big “W”

The Pros and Cons of Weaning a Toddler

And So It Ends

Child-led Weaning (even past 8 years old?)

Reducing Nighttime Nursing without Night Weaning – links about night weaning included

I Told My Family He’d Wean Before College…I Was Right

BABY-LED SOLIDS (as part of Child-led Weaning)

Babyled Solids and Weaning @ A Living Family — Overview w/ Resources, Reflection, Photo Gallery, Choking

Won’t Baby Choke?

Babyled Weaning: A Real Food Approach to Feeding Your Child

I started to write the story of my pumping journey, but it turned out to be long. So, here’s the info first and me second. : )

TWO BASIC RESOURCES:

• Kellymom

• Workandpump

TOPICS:

Choosing a Breastpump

Pumping (Kellymom.com)

• Basics of bottlefeeding
• Alternative feeding methods
• Supply
• Storage and handling
• Separation issues
• Working and pumping (lots of links)
• Exclusive pumping (lots of links)

Ten Tips for Pumping Success

Correct Fit for Nipple Shield

Common Concerns

What Is Your Pumping Space Like?

Another thought: Who gets to feed the baby?

As Christine @ The Aums, mother of 4, says in her Wordless Wednesday post (Pumped Breastmilk), “Let your older child give the baby a bottle…feeding a baby is important! You will boost their self-esteem and help them bond with their sibling.”

BREASTPUMP REVIEWS

• babylovesyourmilk.com
• breastpumpsdirect.com
• trustedbreastpumps.com

MY PUMPING JOURNEY

When people think of breastfeeding, they think of an actual baby suckling on a breast. The breast does seem key in breastfeeding. However, the baby is not, or so it turns out.

I grew up in the country in Kansas. I have seen cows, horses, dogs and such nursing their young. I can’t say I saw a lot of hand-milking of cows firsthand. I have seen it done, though, and have seen videos of cows in industrialized, factory settings being machine-milked. I always wondered what the cow was feeling, especially with the machine which seemed so …. machinized and impersonal. After all these years, now as a mother, I think I might know some of what a cow may be feeling when they are being milked.

I had the blessing of five months home with my daughter before going back to teach in a sixth grade classroom. I became familiar with the milking experience in the first weeks, though. After losing 10% of a mere six pounds, my daughter was a tiny thing. She had a little jaundice, too, which made her a sleepier, lazier nurser to some degree. Though she was surviving fine, my little girl just wasn’t getting enough in to thrive. As any breastfeeding mama knows, and particularly one who has had troubles, being able to feed your baby well can feel like a really big deal.

I had a homebirth, so my midwife (and her midwife-in-training) were visiting almost daily, and talking on the phone and emailing regularly. I felt that things were being monitored but wasn’t sure what I could do to help her gain weight. My midwife sought advice from a lactation consultant midwife friend of hers who suggested I get out the foremilk by pumping for a minute or two on each side before nursing. This would get her closer to the the fattier hindmilk faster. (What are foremilk and hindmilk?) So began my pumping journey. [Suggestions scattered throughout.]

I quickly found some challenges and some resources with solutions. (See below.) I had a little routine with Earth Mama Angel Baby nipple balm that made let down predictable. This helped with soreness as I learned the ins and outs of pumping. [Suggestion #1: Get a good fit.]

I didn’t know at the time that I should feel grateful that I didn’t have to care what my output was. I just needed to keep an eye on the time and take a general glance at the bottle. If I had known better, I would have kept that milk. I don’t know if it would have been donation-worthy or useful in the future, but I would come to feel by the end that any milk saved would have been genius. The pumping trick worked, and after a while I didn’t have to pump anymore and nursed at the breast exclusively.

Then I faced going back to work. I decided I should try a test run of a bottle before I actually had to go back. Enter the world of bottles, nipples, and spilled milk. [Suggestion #2: Don’t be afraid to try lots of bottles and/or nipples to get the right fit. I wanted glass bottles and someone bought me the BPA Free Siliskin Bottle from my registry. I ended up needing to switch nipples and therefore bottles, did some research and asked around, and finally settled on the Born Free Bottle set up. They’ve worked well for us.]

As far as letdown and output, I did fine. I was blessed because my husband would bring her to me at lunch, though by that time she barely nursed for distraction of crawling about. Sometimes I would get sore from a lot of pumping and a lot of nursing — growth spurts seem to happen back to back at that age! For the most part, though, I could get 3-5 oz quickly and easily. [Suggestion #3: Don’t judge what you’re getting by what you used to get or what other people get.] I’ve never been good with numbers; it’s too easy to let them mean more than they do. Summer came and I had a few months with my daughter while the pump gathered dust (not really) in a corner.

I did not know that a completely different pumping experience awaited me in the fall. I now nursed a pre-walking, 10-month old who was starting to eat solids and keep things down. She didn’t come to me at lunch every day of the week. At first, since she was nursing a lot still at night and my supply was high, I could get a good amount fairly easily still. At 14 months, her teeth came and so did more of an appetite. Yet, it seemed she still nursed as much as when she was 7 months. She seemed to be drinking more during the day (meaning I need to pump more) than she was earlier. [Suggestion #4: Try to keep an open mind and take it day by day.]

Somehow, my experience of this time was one of stress. It was in this time that I began to feel like a milk machine. My supply kept going up and down, the beginning of the week generally stronger having nursed all weekend and dropping towards Friday when I’d been away from her all day for days. I started to feel bad if I didn’t get a lot of milk. Some days I couldn’t get anything. Nursing Tea would definitely help, so I just had a cup in the morning when I could. [Suggestion #5: Overall wellness and tools like herbs can really help.] It was definitely harder at this time than the first couple months back to work. There were days when I would come home still upset at the stupid pump if I couldn’t pump much.

[Suggestion #6: Pumps have a lots of parts that all need to be kept working. Keep that on the table as an option when all else seems unreasonable.] Sometimes it was that I needed a new shield. Once it was that my pump motor needed to be replaced. The charging cord was always annoying, and I found out over a year later that the cord was being recalled because it wouldn’t charge. Just having the machine with its whirring noise and the mechanical pulling made me feel like I was being milked. Felt nothing like nursing.

Then came regular days with barely any milk even after trying and trying. Hand expressing would show me that milk was in there, but I wasn’t letting down and didn’t feel full. She happened not to take a bottle some days, more and more it seemed. I made it to almost the end of the school year with the milk I could get on weekends, but it was a struggle every day. I was at the end. I stopped pumping and just nursed her as soon as got home as much as I could.

One fine day, I found out I was pregnant. In retrospect, this made so much of my experience of the last month make sense. I wasn’t far along, but my milk was clearly on its way out. Thus began my nursing while pregnant journey…..for another post.

If you are struggling, one thing to remember is that you are not alone! Other people have experienced some of what you are experiencing; many have written about it on their blog! All of the links in this post are stories and experiences of women who have made it through tough times and have written about their struggles, successes and wisdom.

My guess is that if you asked a breastfeeding mama, especially an extremely experienced one, many would say they like/love breastfeeding. These same people who love breastfeeding, did it for years of their life and so on, they still faced challenging situations. I think every breastfeeding mama (or mama, period) has asked herself:

• Is this normal? (“Nursing Normals”: You define normal.)
• What should I do? (Get “Breastfeeding Support.” Also see yesterday’s post “Breastfeeding Basics and How Tos” for resources.)
• How will I get through this? (Accept The 3 S’s)

Healing Mastitis Naturally

Breastfeeding: What I Wish I Would Have Known…THRUSH!

My Excess Lipase Journey

7 Breastfeeding Troubles and How I Overcame Them

Don’t Bite My Nipples!

Tale of Two Titties

Our Nursing Story

Uncommon Lessons Learned from Breastfeeding

A Breastfeeding Mother’s Top 5 Tips for Success

This is “basics and how tos” not because I am a breastfeeding expert but because there are vast struggles that mamas encounter and so many resources out there to help. I am not a breastfeeding expert. I do know that breastfeeding and staying committed to breastfeeding can take work and willpower and more. The first days and weeks are the hardest for some; for others it’s the ups and downs that can come later. I hope this gathering of links and resources touches on the range of issues that folks can face.

HOW TOs

If you are struggling with breastfeeding and need some How To advice, GET SUPPORT. I am not an expert, but there are links to people who are, information, and other moms going through similar struggles.

• IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant): Find an IBCLC near you
• La Leche League meetings: Find a LLL group near you
• Kellymom.com – Bold because this site is incredibly comprehensive and helpful for information.
• Mothering.com – Find other moms and resources
• Breastfeeding.com

THE BASICS

The Early Days and Weeks

• The Normal Course of Breastfeeding (nursing at various ages and stages, reverse cycling, cluster feeds and more)
• Basics of Breastfeeding in the Early Weeks
• Common Concerns in the Early Weeks

Latch and Positions

• Latching and Positioning Resources
• Momma Jorje’s Top 10 Nursing Positions

Let Down and Supply Issues

Is this safe for breastfeeding … ?

Mother-led weaning and Child-led weaning

Breastmilk: Some Facts

• How Does Milk Production Work? (includes pregnancy/birth hormones, production, supply, storage and foremilk/hindmilk)
• Why Breastmilk Is Important
• Advantages of Breastfeeding: Findings with study citations
• Fat and Energy Contents of Expressed Human Breastmilk in Prolonged Lactation

Human breasts make milk. [Yes, men can breastfeed, too. See link below.]

Given this basic fact, it astonishes me how people respond to human breasts actually doing what they can do in public. Breastfeeding out of the home is, for some reason, not a simple act. So many decisions are involved. Are you going to nurse in public or give a bottle? (Does that mean you are going to pump milk for the bottle or use formula?) If you nurse in public are you going to cover up? How much effort will you need to cover up with a squirmy child that hates being covered up? If your child is not an infant should you stop nursing in public? What will you do with the stares and glares?

The list goes on. For me, a pro-NIP (nursing in public) kind of person, I’m all for the barer the breast the better. The more comfortable a mama is breastfeeding openly in public the more normal we can make this normal act and the more other women can see something they might end up choosing to do one day. Not every woman is comfortable with her nipple being flashed, and I think that’s up to each woman to decide. I also understand that not everyone feels the same about seeing flashed nipples, but in this case I think all the big people should put their needs aside for the little people on the planet. I really don’t see it as a decency issue. After all, when summertime comes or the tv is on, there are mostly exposed breasts everywhere and fully exposed breasts aplenty. People pay lots of money for string bikinis that show enough side boob for soft porn. Acceptable? Should these women be asked to cover up and show some modesty?

Sometime back I linked to “What Are Breasts For?” which included a humorous poem in support of breastfeeding. If breastfeeding is a biological norm for humans as mammals, you wouldn’t ever get that from the reaction many breastfeeding mothers experience out in public or from their family and friends. People openly express all kinds of feelings towards a mother nursing (nourishing) her child. Some of them are incomprehensibly negative. Others are from a vast gray space of disapproval. Since breastfeeding can be so controversial, I thought I’d dive right in with funny and furious sides of breastfeeding advocacy and rights and just some stuff thrown in for fun.

Nursing Freedom the website and the Facebook page are absolute go-to resources for support and information about breastfeeding in public. They have NIP (nursing in public) stories, an interactive map of breastfeeding laws, and NIP gear. Breastfeeding laws are different in every state, so find out about your state. Mothering.com also has good resources on breastfeeding, pumping and the workplace.

Stories of NIP Struggles

• Harassed at Whole Foods (Utah)
• School Bans Breastfeeding on Premises (Georgia)
• Kicked off the Bus (Michigan)
• Asked to Move in an American Girl store (New York)
• Cover Up in Music Store (Illinois)
• Pumped Milk a Security Threat (London, England, Heathrow Airport)
• Stop Breastfeeding at YMCA Pool (Texas)
• A Blanket? In This Heat?! You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me!!! (Upstate NY)

Perspectives and Support

• Social Network(from Blacktating): How “the village” influences our beliefs and norms
• The Milk Truck: “Thought nursing mothers created a spectacle? Meet The Milk Truck.” (Watch the video.)
• Breastfeeding Uncovered: A Peaceful Protest: From Kaitlin@Bring Birth Home
• Thank You for Nursing in Public: A mama’s belated support of another NIP mama
• Just Cover Up: A wonderful post explaining what’s wrong with asking a nursing mother to “be discreet” and “show some modesty.”
• When Toddlers Are Exposed to Breastfeeding: With Photos
• What if more men chose to breastfeed? (Yes, it is apparently possible.) Should they get to be bare-breasted in public like they get to when they run with shirts off?

WHAT IS THIS?

I believe the wisdom of collective experience runs deep.  I would like to capture some of that wisdom we all share. The first set of questions is for women who have breastfed or are breastfeeding. The second set is for the partners of those women.

WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE INFORMATION?

If you are generously willing to add your wisdom, please send your responses to the interview questions below to alivingfamily1@yahoo.com.

The Breastfeeding Survey will become a series of posts to help others who are struggling or in need of moral support. Entries can become anonymous blog posts if desired. Thank you in advance for your participation!

FOR BREASTFEEDING MOTHERS

• What led to your decision to breastfeed?
• How many times had you seen a woman breastfeed before you breastfed your own child?
• Describe your experience of breastfeeding (how many children, how long, challenges, pumping, tandem nursing, etc.).
• If you have a partner, how do you think breastfeeding affected your relationship?
• How discreetly or publicly do you nurse? How did this change with a growing child?
• How supportive was your family and/or friend network?
• Were there any resources you found valuable? (books, classes, support groups, websites, etc.)
• If you could give a word of advice or encouragement to a mama (or yourself) at the start of the breastfeeding journey, what would you say?

FOR PARTNERS

• What was your initial thinking or understanding about breastfeeding? Did this change over time?
• What feelings, thoughts, questions or concerns did breastfeeding raise for you? Were any of them unexpected or surprising?
• How do you think breastfeeding affected your relationship with or thoughts about your partner?
• Do you find, in conversation or out and about, that other partners are supportive of breastfeeding or supportive of you sharing your experiences?
• If you could give a word of advice or encouragement to someone else who has a breastfeeding partner (or yourself) at the start of the breastfeeding journey, what would you say?

IT’S WORLD BREASTFEEDING WEEK!

I usually don’t mark these kinds of things, but I have long wanted to write about my breastfeeding experience and share some of the resources and ideas I have gathered. Now, with World Breastfeeding Week as an excuse, I am inspired to create a breastfeeding series. Who knows, breastfeeding is such a complex issue, I might need more than one week to get things in. It’s a start, though.

[To see a full list of WBW articles/posts on Natural Parents Network, here's the post: "NPN Communicates about WBW."]

Each day I will post on a different topic with links and resources.

• Advocacy and Rights (Monday, Aug.1)

• Basics: Benefits and How Tos

• Challenges and Solutions

• Pumping

• Extended Breastfeeding, Child-led Weaning and Baby-led Solids

• Breastfeeding and Pregnancy/Tandem Nursing

• Support and Stories

Though breastfeeding comes naturally to some women and babies, it is by no means easy to breastfeed. Add the complexities of pumping, being pregnant while nursing, or tandem nursing and you have more solutions to seek. Indeed, some women cannot breastfeed despite all known solutions for a large range of reasons. None of the upcoming posts is meant to tell others what to do with their choices, and they are certainly not meant to make anyone feel bad. As Kate Wicker says in her post “Breastfeeding and Calling a Truce on the Mommy Wars,” we need to “start building each other up instead of tearing each other down.” All viewpoints are welcome in a respectful debate. I simply want to present information and perspectives, ones that are often relegated to the periphery or unheard yet are common to so many women.

GET INVOLVED:

1. Comment to share your story and opinions.

2. Write your own blog post and link up on Natural Parents Network‘s WBW Bloghop.

3. Fill out interview questions (for breastfeeding mothers and their partners) to participate in a Breastfeeding Survey Series.